For all the wrong reasons:
I am an artist because I am unstable. Mediating my emotions thru a piece of paper moves me. Repeating the most basic take for countless times for the perfect shot calms me down. Then I take my blade and slash vigorously through footage, adding different layers of meaning to what was there before (and maybe killing some). And I sit down to watch my work … and I hate it. I hate it so much; I cannot describe with words. So, I make another one.
I am an artist because I am addicted. Countless thoughts enter my brain while watching a movie. I cry sometimes, not because the story is sad, but the movie is so damn good. I think of all of the hardships the filmmakers may have encountered, so I forgive some faults. I watch all of the movies in their own contexts so I can appreciate every single one of them, even though, and sometimes, they are really, really bad.
I am an artist because I am not dependable. I refuse to find a job that I am good at, that pays me to do something, anything, in a steady fashion. I refuse to wake up at 8 am everyday, which deems me as a bad provider in today’s society. In my opinion, sitting down on my ass to watch a bad teen comedy counts as work, and I firmly believe one day people will pay me for it.
I am an artist even though I am not talented. I use three letter words like “bad” and “get” in my papers, and I cheat by utilizing the right mouse key, so it can find me synonyms. So, in order to fully express my feelings I have to make art. Oh, and one more thing, I never prrof read.
I am an artist because I am desperate. I have many good stories to tell, but not enough friends to tell to. Since I can’t pay people to listen to what I have to say, I decided to take their money instead. Maybe then they will stop asking me questions like “why film studies?” For the record, I always answer “a muse kissed me on my lips.” I am an artist not necessarily in order to break free from the clichés or the stereotypes; I sometimes like to exploit them instead.
I am an artist ... and this is my confession.