In trying to account for myself as an artist it can be hard to find reasons (without
referring to an unaccountable future) to explain why I have dedicated so many hours to
projects that have provided me very little or no material profit whatsoever. However
defining the essence of what has led me to get involved in these projects can be simpler:
When I am involved in the process of artistic creation I am in a mode of positive productive
existence. That is, I am channeling my energy into creating sounds, images that affect and
have an effect on my surroundings. That energy is not lost in oblivion and somehow returns
to me and sometimes even multiplied. On the other hand when I’m in a negative or
counterproductive state I then start feeling almost void of energy, and when that negative
energy returns, it can also be multiplied.
I always thought that the idea of heaven and hell expressed in the bible and many
other religious documents was a metaphor for the idea of how the energy you channel
comes back to you. However my concern is not to what is to become of me after I die,
but what is to become of me while I am alive. How will I have the power to wake up each
morning and feel that I am alive, that I am aware of the rhythm that my heart has kept with
miraculous perfection for as long as I can remember? By being involved in the artistic
process, I become aware of my immediate surroundings and my consciousness expands
beyond the flesh with which I breathe and becomes part of a larger universe.